The Officers' Diary

February 15 - New guy on the precinct. They call him Bag-O-Tricks. We'll see what he can do...

February 13 - Lt Dan says we need reinforcements. They're sending an Officer from Gävle...

January 31 - My head!  Where's Kinky?

January 30 - Full house at Josef's. Biker party and... blur out.

2010 ­

December 31 - Happy New Year, scumbags. We'll get ya next year!

December 4 - Back to Josef's House of Crime! Beautiful!

November 28 - Blomstermåla needed back-up. Went there and were treated like Chiefs of Police. Thank you folks!

November 27 - Laxå - home of...a few people. Rocked. Passed out... Nice crowd, both of you!

November 15 - Bought new Patrol car again. We just wear 'em out...

November 7 - Went to south of Sweden. Escorted a criminal named Red Hot Max. Nice ol' feller...

October 10 - Home improvement stole my time...

September 5 - Went to Skara. Home of Dance-bands and waterslides. Street Star Cruisers needed help with security. Paid in beer...

September 4 - Josef never gives up on us. Rocked the House of Blues again.

July 25 - Drove Germans around half the country on patrol. They liked it - I think. Didn't catch a word...

July 17 - The people of Motala had us back again. Unbelievabe...

July 8 - Painted face of precinct. We should have the perps do this. I'm sweating now...

June 9 - Played for farmers and colleagues at town square. Nice... tractors.

June 3 - Bought patrol horse. Low on gas...

May 29 - Me and Kinky attended concert. Met nice fat boys...

April 28 - Back to work on the street.

April 22 - Where are we?

April 20 - Like inside of brewery...

April 17 - Field trip to Germany.

April 2 - Must have passed out in patrol car. Weather better. Missed April Fool's Day...

2009 ­

November 21 - Buick handles like stoned donkey on the snow. Get me out of here!

November 1 - Crp Kinky played up a storm. Nobody could hear me or Bull Dog...

October 5 - Brought him back home. Too nice...

October 4 - Had to escort English prisoner to Germany. He bought us beer and told great stories.

September 19 - Josef's House of Blues again. Very nice man! No ear for music, though...

August 23 - They wanted us back!

August 22 - Played for nice youngsters in Motala. Lt Dan introduced the "Gretsch Police Special" - 4 strings and one in the chamber...

August 11 - Two new songs in the can. What to call new album? "The Black & White Album", maybe.

July 28 - Sent wife to gamble on horses. Not a good move. Not at all.

July 22 - Bought new guitar in Stockholm town. Wait 'til ya hear the Police Special on 11...

July 18 - Top secret mission to Norway. Met the devil on a train.

July 6 - Had to fix plumbing at the precinct. Now I'm really knee-deep in it...

June 28 - Drove Buick to Rättvik. Tried to keep order in traffic. Jeez... Played some tunes instead.

June 14 - Drove 10 more hours north. More banjo. Met very nice gentleman with guitar. Name was Ragge. Rank - Rock. Then drove south again. Broke guitars at Railway Saloon. Passed out.

June 13 - Nothing to do. Went gambling in Sundsvall. Good thing it wasn't our money...

June 7 -  Now we've really seen it all. Drove patrol car into woods until banjo tunes were heard. Played in a barn. Tried to protect.... ourselves.

June 5 - Tried to play music. Nobody heard a thing. Turned out it was right on an airport...

May 31 - Dalarna again. Falun, Sweden. No law. No order.

May 23 - Drank beer at Josef's. Had to play music to avoid paying for beer. Kinky raised hell. Another day at work...

May 16 - Played 3 Elvis songs in home town. What is wrong with musicians? Couldn't keep order. Bailed out.

May 12 - Hit deer with patrol car. Poor thing. Died before he could bite my neck.

May 5 - Told story about Yo Momma to microphone in studio. You'll hear it this summer...

May 3 - West-coast call again. Went to hockey arena. 800 people, Boppin Steve, Sleepy LaBeef - and only 3 cops!

April 20 - The Feds called us up to the Capital. Played for the Latte-drinking crowd. Very nice!

April 18 - Local disturbance at Josef's House of Horror, I mean Blues. Had to put whole crowd behind bars.

April 17 - Played to microphones at a radio station. Kinky and Dan came OUT of uniform. Can you believe that?

April 12 - Answered call from the woods. Åtorp... Man, there are places I didn't even know were habitated.

April 7 - Went bowling. What the heck.

April 5 - Went to the west-coast. Played for nice folks with even nicer cars. First time in Patrol Limo. Thank you Rightbacks!

April 1 - Told Kinky he was a good officer. Ha ha, fooled you!

March 29 - Legs hurt.

March 28 - Gone skiing.

March 23 - Secret undercover mission in the backwoods of Dalarna. If I tell you any more, I would have to kill you.

March 15 - Me and Kinky attended party for important people. Doctors and shit. Kept them calm. Had a box of beer - each.

March 3 - Back on the beat. Hard work on the streets. No time for donuts.

March 1 - Went to small town called Falun. Played some tunes for a bunch of nice young people. They'll grow up to be fine officers one day.

February 20 - Seven new stories down on paper. Hmm. Can we leave the street for two days to record? Will crime rates soar? Don't miss the next episode...

February 5 - Turned in Buick for maintenance. Man - those mechanics know how to charge... No more donuts this week.

January 26 - All units respond! Had to go to Västerås and take care of a birthday party that had got out of hand. Played some tunes. All calm by 0300 hours.

January 20 - Just remembered an old arrest I made. Put it down on a piece of paper. It's time we recorded a few new stories for y'all. I'm gonna call for backup right now. Right after a beer or two, that is.

January 14 - Another day, another dollar. Lt Dan radioed for help, but me and Kinky had more important things to do. The coffee was fresh and I just bought a new deck of cards. The Lieutenant had managed to survive so far - he'd be alright.

January 7 - Today, Crp Kinky and I got a call from the P4 Radio station in town. We went there, but didn't find any criminal activity. In fact - we didn't find much activity at all... We chatted with a nice civilian for half an hour (seems he recorded it), and went back on the street for a donut.

2008 ­

December 26 - Woke up. Back to precinct. Got stopped by colleagues. They complained about the smell in our Buick. We said "forget about it". Drove off.

December 25 - Took patrol car up to Bollnäs. Some people wanted to hear us play. It went really good - we think...

December 24 - Merry Christmas. Had two extra donuts.

December 10 - They said the Boss was on the line. He wasn't. But a civilian named Bruce was playing The Globe in Stockholm. His buddy Little Steven invited me and Lt Dan backstage for a chat and some donuts. No crimes were committed in the E Street Lounge. Saw concert. Tapped steering wheel in Buick on the way home. Workin' on the highway...